Long ago, in one of my too-many board meetings, a new executive director of the non-profit announced that we needed to involve more "people with stature". I'm sorry, but I can't let a phrase like that go without comment.
I asked him what he meant by stature. You could count on my neighbor Judy, sitting across the table, to lend her wit to a challenge. "You know," she quipped, "tall people."
The exec, trying not to be annoyed on his first day facing us, explained what /who he valued...wealthy people, primed for recognition, publically known as leaders, especially in business or the lucrative professions. But eyebrows were already raised. This new fellow hadn't quite got it. People who matter to charities that matter are invested in a physical, can-do, idea way. They understand from the ground up what that organization needs to serve the people who need support. Then they go and do it.
Yes, money matters; a network of donors who also understand that is indispensible. But here around that table were already people you could count on, people with compassion and talent, who opened hands that worked hard, mind and body, and gave generously. As the exec's eyes went around the table, it was clear that he didn't think we were status enough. He was used to directing and rubbing shoulders with a room full of big names. (Thankfully, he moved on to a more status place a year or two later.)
I thought about that the other day while I sat in the waiting room of the VA hospital near Asheville where my brother-in-law lay after his heart suddenly failed him. With me were his brother and wife and his sons...those the doctor had somberly told my sister she should call. We sat watching for three days as my brother-in-law Jim lifted himself from a heart-stopped 30-minute CPR to three days of worried what now?...and suddenly, on the fourth day, overnight, came back among us. His own physicians and nurses, excellent caregivers all, are still amazed, as we are, and we are grateful to all of them.
Among the waiters was my sister's sister-in-law, Mary Janine, who with her husband, the patient's younger brother, had flown in from far places. She sat knitting, cheerfully chatting and keeping us less anxious. I hadn't seen that couple since my sister's wedding fifty years ago. But waiting rooms are famous for inviting togetherness, whether you are related or not.
My niece Deanna had also come the first day with homemade soup and crackers and chocolate and tea for all of us; she lived only a few minutes away. She, too, brought with her a craft she was working on...bags of dried orange slices and cinnamon sticks she was stringing to decorate her house for a holiday spiritual retreat. She told us how much she enjoyed using real, natural things in her life and how important they were to the spirit. One of her jobs is enticing positive spirit in others.
Eventually, that brought us around to Mary Janine's knitting, and the charity she started nearly 8 years ago to lend support to women whose children were suffering with cancer.
She and her sister began Shrugs through Hugs which provides yarn... beautiful yarn she often dyes herself or searches the world for...to volunteers to make into shawls sent to let those mothers know that someone is with them in spirit. It doesn't sound like much, but it is a huge comfort, the connection as much as the warmth of their knitted shrugs.
Mary Janine and her sister work hard at not only themselves making the shrugs, sending patterns and materials to other volunteers, but also knitting other beautiful items to sell at select museum shops and boutiques...that's to raise money to buy more yard for their mothers' project.
Her creativity made me smile. Since Newport is her special place, she takes the colors of the famous historic homes for her wares and teaches a little history in those packets she sends out. On their website, they write:
"The idea for our charity began to take shape during the winter of 2016 in Newport, Rhode Island. Our love for this wonderful city is reflected in our Newport-inspired yarn and shawl collection. Postcards from Newport highlight some popular points of interest. Our Gilded Age yarns and shawls honor the strong women behind the Newport mansions while supporting the brave moms we serve through our mission."
You can find her on https://hugsthroughshrugs.org and on instagram [#hugsthroughshrugs], where the photos of her work and the places they reach are inspiring. Over the few days we sat getting to know each other, I listened as she recounted how, in fact, other women inspired and taught her craft, and how hard she works to coordinate knitters and find places to sell her yarn to support those mothers' gifts.
I'm a terrible knitter, myself; simple knit and purl with maybe a little edging is what I keep to. But even I would try to make shrugs to send her for those mothers. You can hear and see her whole heart in it. And you can also see what it takes them to keep it going. I call Mary Janine and her sister people who matter.
It may have been dire circumstances that brought us together, but I am grateful for the chance to know yet another person who matters and allows others to matter, too, in the best ways.
And here's Deanna's retreat, in case you need a day of renewal at the end of the year, a chance to invoke the kind of spirit that opens itself, hands and mind, to others' needs while it opens yours.
May hope and dedication light your holidays all, as it will certainly light ours
as our first candle glows for Chanukah.
